I have struggled with self-esteem and a quick temper for as long as I can remember.
Having three little ones four and under have only increased my awareness of these problems. It has also increased my desire to resolve them. I do not want my girls growing up thinking they aren’t beautiful, smart, funny, and talented in the one-million ways I see them now. I want my son to understand how to love and respect women because I love and respect myself.
After B was born in June 2013, I had an incredibly hard time controlling my temper, getting sleep, eating right and well, pretty mud everything. I constantly felt overwhelmed. In November 2013, I started seeing a councilor again. Yes, again. It had approximately five years since I had seen one. I never really resolved anything with those sessions, I just ended up too overwhelmed with getting married and school. I was newly married, in school, and then pregnant, so I stopped. A few weeks ago I found out I struggle with postpartum depression.
I love my councilor! She has been wonderful, hard, honest, loving, and most important-loving. I have decided to put some of my homework on the blog. This is to both help it sink-in and get me back into blogging. I have not picked back up after I loosing everything.
Feel free to ask questions, make comments here, or completely ignore me.
Posted in anger, children, depression, family, mommy problems, patenting, postpartum, self-esteem, sleeping, start, struggle
As a mom have you ever been stuck? Not a tough decision or moral dilemma, but really, truly stuck? An “I can’t move” stuck?
:sat night I found myself stuck.
As I nursed my baby to sleep, my two year-old woke up coughing and crawled onto my legs. A short while later I found my self holding two sleeping children.
What do I do? How long should I sit here holding them? Will one of them wake up? How long until Gordon’s meeting is over? The questions seamed to circle in my mind for an hour.
Before I new it, there was trouble. Pain and tingling stretched up from my feet to encompass my legs. My legs were falling asleep!
Now the questions were more urgent. When will Gordon be here? How can I stand up? Should I wake up Tiny? How hard will it be to put one of them back to sleep so I can move?
I kept moving my legs as much as I could with a two-year-old stretched along them. I tried waking up Tiny so she could crawl into bed. Looking at the ground I new I couldn’t reach to lay B there while I moved Tiny.
I started to panic. What will I do? I just had to try something!
Leaning over I could barely reach one of Tiny’s blankets from her bed. I pulled! Both blankets fell to the carpet in a small pile. I could do this!
I carefully repositioned B so I could lay him on the mound of blankets and slowly leaned over the side of the chair with him. I couldn’t reach!
I dropped him!
He laid their motionless, sleeping on the soft warm blankets.
Now it was easy. I pulled Tiny up from my legs so I could stand and placed her gently on her bed. Picked B up from his soft bed and laid him in the crib. Then I covered them both with blankets, left their room and walked in circles around my living room to gain full feeling back into my legs.
Have you ever been stuck?