Category Archives: stuck

We Believe Wednesday-Sacrament

Jesus Christ sat with His apostles the evening before the atonement.  Christ knew it was time for Him to atone and die for us.  In Luke 22, we read about the first sacrament and Christ said, “this is my body which is given for you: this do in remembrance of me. . . . this cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you.”

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we feel sacrament is an important part of our spiritual growth and worship, as we remember and renew the covenants we make with Heavenly Father when we are baptized.  As we partake of the bread and water, we remember the atoning sacrifice Jesus Christ made for us.  We take the time, while the sacrament is being passed, to reflect on the ministry, life and Atonement of Christ, the Son of God.

The bread being broken is a symbolic reminder of His body on the cross and His physical sufferings.  It is also symbolic to ancient times when as part of the covenant, they would cut (break) an animal into pieces as a sacrifice and say “Let what happened to this sacrifice, happen to us, if we break our covenant.”

The water is symbolic of the blood of our Savior shed in extreme spiritual suffering and grief, commencing in the Garden of Gethsemane and concluding on the cross.  In Matthew 26:38 Christ said, “My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death.”  In the Book of Mormon, Mosiah 3:7 we read and understand, “Blood [came] from every pore, so great [was] his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people.”

Jesus Christ suffered for the sins, sorrows, and pains of all people.  He is the only one who truly understands us, emotionally and spiritually.  When we get that call, your grandma has suffered a stroke and is on the way to the hospital, He truly felt the pain, regrets and overwhelming fears.  When we sin, because we all will, He felt the sorrow, fear, and humility.  What greater gift could our Father give us than a big brother who truly knows us?

As a mother, I want to teach my children of this great gift.  When my oldest, Princess, was around 12-months, I was contemplating how to teach my children about Jesus Christ and the sacrament.  Almost intuitively, as I handed her the bread, I whispered, “this helps us remember Jesus made it so we can live with Heavenly Father again.”  Then with the water I whispered, “this helps us remember we can say sorry and repent for our sis.”  As simple as these words were, they truly help us focus on the atonement, crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. Princess is now almost five, and I have Tiny, three; and B, one.  They each are told these same words each time we partake of the sacrament.

I’m lost

Somewhere, somehow, I lost myself. Between school, work, being a mom, a wife, graduating, all the moves and trying to “fit in,” I’ve lost who I am and who I want to be.

I went into a type of autopilot.  I stopped thinking and caring so much about things which were once important to me.  Stopped trying so hard.

When Gordon an I first were married, I was still in school. We became pregnant fairly quick. I made bread every few weeks, granola bars and fruit leathers were always being rotated through my homemade projects.  I staved to find ways to eat healthily and on a very tight budget.  We had more variety to our meals and we even planned them out.

Family Picture-10/21/09

Family Picture-10/21/09

I graduated eight months pregnant with our second, Tiny.  After Tiny was born, I was doing some at home preschool with Princess. Fruit leathers, granola bars, and bread became occasional projects.  I joined a preschool co-op with two other mothers and we loved it!  We want for walks, play groups, planted gardens, played outside and ran through sprinklers.

Princess' first day of Preschool Co-op

Princess’ first day of Preschool Co-op

Before I gave birth to B, out third child, we had so much happen, everything stopped.  Gordon’s job was in jeopardy when the company he was working for was purchased.  People were being laid off and jobs were being outsourced to India.  There were a few times, by the grace of Heavenly Father, he was put on a list to be let go and he kept his job.

Our lease was ending, we were uncertain how long his job would last, so we moved in with family.  Two little girls, Gordon and I (pregnant), all lived in a little room for a few months.  I was done.  Other than making diner (and the very occasional treat) I wasn’t doing much.  Walks stopped, play groups seemed hard to attend, preschool co-op stopped.

Gordon stated with a new company and within the first month, we found a new place to live.  We moved closer to his work to avoid the hour plus commute.  B was born and it seemed like I failed at everything I tried.  I could barely make it through the day without loosing it.  Struggling with postpartum depression and being a mom of three seemed much harder than I felt it should be.

My cute three kids-6/21/13

My cute three kids-6/21/13

I posted pictures like this (see below) so I would be able to look back one day and laugh.

Tiny stuck in the toy bins.

Tiny stuck in the toy bins.

Now we still have days I loose it, days which end in tears foe everyone, but we also have great days, days we play at the park, days we play with bubbles, days we make sunflower seed butter, days we visit grandparents and days we just spend at home playing.

There are changes ahead I am excited to share, when the time is right.  For now, we have decided to find ourselves again.  Homemade bread, granola bars and fruit leathers will be homemade and fresh instead of store bought.  We will be starting homeschooling and playing more.  We will be reading, coloring, exploring and splashing in puddles.

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Princess’s first real jump!

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Sibling puddle time

Stay tuned as I try to share our journey a little more often. 

Stuck

As a mom have you ever been stuck?  Not a tough decision or moral dilemma, but really, truly stuck?  An “I can’t move” stuck?

:sat night I found myself stuck.

As I nursed my baby to sleep, my two year-old woke up coughing and crawled onto my legs.  A short while later I found my self holding two sleeping children.

Sleeping Children

What do I do?  How long should I sit here holding them?  Will one of them wake up?  How long until Gordon’s meeting is over? The questions seamed to circle in my mind for an hour.

 

Before I new it, there was trouble.  Pain and tingling stretched up from my feet to encompass my legs.  My legs were falling asleep!

Now the questions were more urgent.  When will Gordon be here? How can I stand up?  Should I wake up Tiny? How hard will it be to put one of them back to sleep so I can move?

I kept moving my legs as much as I could with a two-year-old stretched along them.  I tried waking up Tiny so she could crawl into bed.  Looking at the ground I new I couldn’t reach to lay B there while I moved Tiny.

I started to panic. What will I do?  I just had to try something!

Leaning over I could barely reach one of Tiny’s blankets from her bed.  I pulled!  Both blankets fell to the carpet in a small pile.  I could do this!

I carefully repositioned B so I could lay him on the mound of blankets and slowly leaned over the side of the chair with him.  I couldn’t reach!

I dropped him!

He laid their motionless, sleeping on the soft warm blankets.

Sleeping BabyThank you!

Now it was easy.  I pulled Tiny up from my legs so I could stand and placed her gently on her bed.  Picked B up from his soft bed and laid him in the crib.  Then I covered them both with blankets, left their room and walked in circles around my living room to gain full feeling back into my legs.

 

Sarah Kathryn

Have you ever been stuck?